Pure Consciousness at the Sea Surf

It has been my quest over the last several years to 'reach' the stage
of spiritual evolution characterized by what Nisargadatta Maharaj
calls 'I am' consciousness, and his master (Siddharameshwar) pure
consciousness.

I have been doing so, because preceding that understanding, i did not
feel myself ready to say anything about economics, and certainly not
about the reform of our economy towards one based on holistic principles.

I slowly am ready to research the topic. After finally having gotten to know
my real self a bit in Vedic terms, i dare to rely on that inner knowing
when writing and studying economics, my main interest in life.

Pure consciousness is characterized by a complete partaking in all that happens
inside and outside the body-mind, while being fully conscious (that is, fully unattached,
purely present). It is as if the body-mind apparatus just do their thing (thinking, feeling,
sensing, emoting, intuiting, working, doing, talking, acting, writing, drawing), without
their being anyone doing it.

People who progress further on the path understand this even better: they have
lost every and all sense of a personal self doing anything.

The change in behavior is enormous once this and the formerly described stage is 'reached'.
Since yesterday i hardly feel like smoking, drinking wine or eating heavy and sugary. I feel
more like eating healthy, being healthy, doing things which help people and make the world
more beautiful. I have phone calls with friends and family, spontaneously doing the same
thing i always wanted to do but did not care for. Now i do, effortlessly. I also write like
crazy on this computer. whereas i used to correct every fifth letter i type, now it is with amazing
speed that these words arrive on the screen. Doubt is disappearing quickly, on what i have to do,
how things work and whether i am doing the right thing. I do not need the knowledge, it will arrive, or i will find it.

i will try to describe, even when knowing it is near to impossible
It so happened when i looked at the sea in Noordwijk, on December 26 at 13oo hours Dutch Time. In the middle of my awareness watching the sea something was standing completely
still. not any movement, not any urge to have the eyes go left or right. fixated, as if encarcerated
like Hopkins in silence of the lambs. The stillness did not extend to the sea, which was moving like it always does. It was in my brain and in the center of my vision that complete silence and
stillness existed, and remains since then. Everything else moves: thoughts about work, emotions when my daughter does not go to sleep, my shoulders which hurt from maltreatment. The center
is quiet. And, the center is me. Since the event (of which there have been a few, differing in intensity and meaning), i cannot doubt anymore where I is. It is right there, between my eyes,
in the center of my brain, all quiet and pure and still.

What else. Real coffee. More words another day.